no safety net … no suitcases

One day I understood that my personal history was no longer needed.

So I dropped it.

– Don Juan

 

Radical Discontinuity of Personal History.

Jettisoned.

Gone.  Gone!

 

This Unlit Light: leave it all behind

 

Memo to self: Please ponder this.

 
Extinction of story-self: trashing of memory files and folders; defrag of system; reformat.

No going back to the old grazing grounds. No replay of the old impulses. No safety-net of sangha, family, friends, colleagues. No suitcases, backpacks, backups.

Who am I without the suitcases crammed with crumpled versions of ‘me’?

I am lightened, that’s for sure; they weighed a ton.

I am lightened?

I am, goodness me, Light itself!

Light of being, knowing, feeling, flowing, unfolding.

Light unborn, unlit, and never not here, now, in this very THIS.


 

What do you have to do?

Pack your bags,

go to the station without them,

catch the train,

and leave your self behind.

Quite so: the only practice – and once.

– Wei Wu Wei

 


nonduality and the mutating brain

A couple of days ago Jerry Katz – one of the editors of the online Nonduality Highlights – invited responses to a post from a blogger called ‘Tabby’.  Tabby’s had a gutsfull of words about nonduality and has reached the conclusion that it’s worthless when the circumstances of one’s life present pain, torture and deprivation.  This was what came up here, so I sent it off:

Understanding something (anything) causes an effect in the structure of the brain.

J Krishnamurti talked about a mutation of the brain – a re-ordering of the cells.  Wei Wu Wei used the word ‘apperception’ to refer to this inner reorganization of the contents of consciousness.  Science has a new name for it, and a whole new research arena: Neuroplasticity.

In the case of nondual understanding, it is not that the outer circumstances of one’s life necessarily change, but one’s relationship to them certainly does.  Pain comes with the human package.  How it is experienced depends on the brain’s response, and all brains are unique.  (Why would a Novocain response be invalid, pray tell?)

What triggers nondual apperception?  Six billion answers and counting.

The only thing these answers appear to have in common is a threshold at which one drops speculation, abandons hope, and is angry/depressed/disappointed/disgusted enough to give up.  And then?  Give up.

And then?

Give up.

(You will die but it won’t kill you.)

For this brain it began with a gift out of the blue.  In the midst of suicidal agony, Grace came.  And left a calling card.  I’ve posted a recollection on my (very) new blog:

an uninvited koan

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ps:   “I conclude that non-duality is not so much wrong as it is useless.”  Excellent!  Tabby’s whiskers are on the right twitch …

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