to truly grieve
is to, somehow
find the guts
Grief and sadness are often mistakenly thought to be the same. They aren’t. Sadness will have its time and place – usually in the immediate aftermath of a loss. But sadness isn’t good company for those whose work is to grieve.
Sadness, as Byron Katie so succinctly put it, is “a hissy fit”. Sadness looks backwards and wants the what-is to still be the what-was.
Grief meets the what-is with no agenda other than to be 100% present, nakedly nowful.
The astonishing gift of grief and grieving is that it opens us to a love beyond anything we have ever known.
Rashani Réa, in her quietly, powerfully, honest book Beyond Brokenness says she has never met anyone who isn’t unconsciously holding grief.
I decided to take a look, and yes. There it was, patiently awaiting the impartial light of awareing. A little list of gonenesses, each one a treasure, an irreplaceable chapter in the story of a Life.
As this unlit light beams them into presence they come into full bloom, they mature and scatter their seeds of wisdom. Then – they vanish.
The only residue is the wetness on my cheeks.
And this love!
This sweet, helpless, holy love; it is love to die for.
Might you have a goneness list in hiding?
Go for it beloved.
Whoever finds love
beneath hurt and grief,
disappears into emptiness
with a thousand new guises