Sitting on the magic zafu this morning pondering some words from Nisargadatta that were included in one of this week’s Nonduality Highlights. Words about wanting nothing.
Going deep into the significance of a wantless life. And deeper still. Falling feather-light below the limn of language, down down into the body’s beatland.
… wanting nothing from God or the world, desiring nothing,
expecting nothing, projecting nothing …
Feeling the skin on the back of my scalp tingle and loosen. a contraction in my stomach – nausea, it wants to heave – then release and pins and needles cascading down through the gut. Then a sense of porosity, no idea where my body begins and ends as it streams out into the quantum soup. Eyes, these eyes, the eyes of mankind, the universe perceiving Itself, ears, nose, same. Brain feeling like a flower opening (I’ve never felt my brain before). Hair standing on end. Shockwave after shockwave. Tsunami of tears.
a flowering, a beating, a breathing
a nothing that is utter plenitude
That is all and It is all.
Image by Bahman Farzad
Dare to say the dangerous prayer:
Holy Nothing, take everything that’s not You and leave me here, naked, stripped of every pretending and striving. Only in the Nothing, only as Nothing, only as No One, will I ever find what I’m looking for. So take my quest for enlightenment and take my fears that I’m a schmuck and just leave me here without a clue, completely open. No idea what I am or where I’m going. Just here, the quiet open, waiting for your Breath to play me.
We don’t need any improvement. We don’t need anything more. We just need to stop and notice. And let be whatever’s here, meet it. Until we have the kind of heart that’s so empty for having kissed everything in it, that it can kiss anything and call it Beloved.
There are a few kinds of peace. There’s one that can be shattered because it’s based on quiet music and having things just the way we feel comfortable having them. There’s that kind of peace, which is a relative peace. And then there’s the peace that is always here, if we check, as this content-less awareness looking out of our eyes. That content-less awareness that all of our freak-outs arise in, is never freaked out.
~ Jeannie Zandi
Excerpt from Jeannie Zandi’s newsletter.
You can sign up for it, and read the whole article at her website
Image – detail from “Caduta sotto la Croce” del Pordenone, Cattedrale di Cremona, 16th century.