the fallacy of finding oneself

Have you been sucked into the lie that what you really ARE is something you need to find, or discover, or recover?  And then heal or train or perfect?  It’s commonly touted by earnest souls with a course, program, book or DVD to sell.

I was an eager member of their audience in my dreamtime march toward betterment.  It was all good fun and perhaps helped shape the ‘me’-ing being into a more accomplished/productive/compliant ‘person.’  But none of it led me to my ‘true’ self.  It just created different versions of the wee-me that was a totally addicted seeker.

Meanwhile, the Self I was seeking simply watched, utterly unaffected.  One day I stopped being busy with the me-ing long enough to cast a glance over my shoulder, metaphorically-speaking.  And there IT was.  Already perfect, already total, already all I had hoped to know and to be.

The shock of it! Of realizing one had fallen for the fallacy of separation when no such estrangement could ever be possible for one second…

The sweetness of the relief! Of knowing that nothing could ever be done to bring one closer to – or take one away from – this intimacy…

The joy of it!  Of knowing that the wild creative awake Beingness that one longed for is here, and always has been:

doing Life ITs own way and calling ITself “ME”

– billions, trillions, of versions of IT,

all called “ME”!

~ miriam louisa


beloved Beloved

beloved Beloved


How can You be so evident
and yet
completely missed
as we search for You


How can You be so simple
and at the same time
so subtle
that overlooking You
takes priority?


How can You be so clear
and nakedly
yet only be referred to
in riddles?


How can You be so Total
so inescapably
and yet
be nothing knowable
or nameable?

~ ml


I awaken everything to life

I, the fiery life of divine essence,

am aflame beyond the beauty of the meadows,
I gleam in the waters,
and I burn in the sun, moon and stars …

I awaken everything to life.


Hildegard von Bingen 1098 – 1179


falling into death, there is only life

Who you really are is the timeless death that is right now. This is the death that you run from, but the death that you long for. It is the end of everything that you know and everything that you believe. All that knowing and belief is the restriction and burden that you have been carrying for so long. It is the sense of separation that makes you feel like you are in a prison.

Right now, none of that has any meaning or relevance. Right now nothing means anything. Right now you do not know anything. Right now there is no one living a life. There is only Life itself. Life breathing. Life looking. Life thinking. Life speaking, Life sitting…

Right now there is nothing to be afraid of and nothing to search for. Falling into death, there is only Life…

~ Unmani

Read the whole article at the Advaita Academy


we give thanks for tiny prickly perfections

Baby Porcupine


beloved life

we give thanks for tiny
prickly perfections
called porcupines

we give thanks that they
nestle so trustingly
in our hands showing
us what it means
to allow which is
to love

we give thanks for the way
they expose our own
vulnerability and the
prickles we hide it beneath

we give thanks for tiny
prickly perfections:
those we hold in our hands
and those whose hands
hold them

we give thanks for this
small revelation and
how it trembles the heart


– miriam louisa

then Beingness becomes Beloved

The love that ‘I’ seeks is the Love that is seeking itself. Is there one ‘human’ beingness who is not seeking this thing called love? They mightn’t necessarily call it that – it might be referred to as happiness, peace, contentment or harmony, but all these are qualities of love itself.

Love never tires of seeking itself. The whole drama of Life is this search. And when Love eventually returns to find itself, one realizes that it was never lost, ever – it was just playing a kind of bittersweet game with itself. It was never, ever lost, for it is nothing but this inescapable Beingness.

Beingness – unavoidable and unchanging – is never unfaithful for one nanosecond. It never packs up and takes off with another lover; it is the Watching that notices lovers leaving on a fresh search for the love they haven’t yet recognized as their true Beingness. It never has an unkind word for me or anyone; it is the impartial Noticing of my unkind thoughts and thoughtless words. It’s never depressed or alienated or flattened or disappointed; it’s the Awareing of and the accepting of, all my mental and emotional states. It never demands that I or the world be better, different, more peaceful; it embraces everything equally, without judgment.

To use these words  – noticing, awareing, embracing – is completely incorrect actually, for it implies a split between Beingess and something ‘other.’ In fact, in our experience, there is no such split. Beingness is all – it is the hurt and betrayal and unkindness and violence as well as their perceived opposites.

This is the ultimate absolution. Beingness doesn’t condone nor does it mean one won’t act to help; it isn’t passive or nihilistic. It is simply realized that whatever is happening, is Beingness unfolding itself.

It strikes me that one could never find any object or person that could measure up to these qualities of basic Beingness. I guess that’s why after repeatedly trying to escape, and repeatedly making the return, I found that Beingness became Beloved for this gadabout. I rush to its immediacy without moving a hair. I am enfolded in its embrace. And I know it as ‘I’.

~ miriam louisa


“I am taken. I have given myself to love”

If you give yourself to love one hundred percent you cannot know what the outcome will be.

Giving yourself to love is laying yourself bare without knowing how you will be used, knowing that however you are used, you are given to love, in service to love.

Whatever your mistakes may be, however you fumble, however you stumble, if it is in service to love it teaches you something.

You pick up and you serve love even more strongly.

You marry love, and you say, “I am yours.”

Then whatever beautiful temptations go by, you say, “I am taken. I have given myself to love.”

There are moments of extreme difficulty in all lives.

When you really give yourself to love then you are not concerned with difficulty or ease.

You may not like difficulty but it is here.

How is it serving love?

Where is love in this, where is silence?

Where is truth?

Then life is the teacher of love.

~ Gangaji


Gratitude to beloved Gangaji. For those living in the Downunderlands, do visit her website for news about her upcoming visits to New Zealand and Australia.