looking for the perfect lover?

Are you looking for a relationship in which you will feel unconditionally accepted and loved, where there’s complete consistency that you can trust, where jealousy, competition and pride don’t rear their ugly heads, where absolutely no effort is required to sustain or maintain the dynamics, where there is no sense of separation between you and your beloved, and where you are 100% free to be ‘who you are’ and express your ‘self?’

If I told you that you could have it all would you believe me? Would you check it out for yourself? Would you suspend every desire and every story about your past, present and future? Would you suspend the need, the compulsion, to be ‘in a relationship?’ Just for an experiment, just to investigate?

Would you settle on your zafu, or whatever landing/launching pad you prefer, and look – I mean really look – at what’s looking? Look into what’s knowing and experiencing this livingness that wears your name?

The look-ing is the Lover.
The know-ing is the Lover.
The experience-ing is the Lover.
The wide-awake spacious Aware-ing that is ‘I’ is the Lover.

Die into the inescapable presence of the Lover, beloved.

And then you will know that ‘relationship’ is an obsolete notion.

There is only the Lover.

~ miriam louisa

and the default demon turns out to be . . .

… a stuffed toy tiger chasing its tail!

“If I can only get a grip on myself I’ll sort out my anger, I’ll sort out my greed, I’ll fix my pride and jealousy, I’ll tidy up my relationships, I’ll get rid of my de .. lus .. ion .. .. ..s ..”

“Dammit! Why do I always end up back in the toy box before I can catch myself?  I just start getting up momentum and she plonks her butt down on the zafu.  Instant abandonment!  Oh the insult!”

“Doesn’t she know I am REAL?  That I’ve got ISSUES?  That my existence depends on getting them fixed?”

“And FCOL why doesn’t she turn off that darned Light?”

– miriam louisa

(with sincere apologies to Bill Watterson and Hobbes)


 

freedom is at the beginning

Freedom.

I used to think that freedom was a word that went with a ‘from’ or a ‘to’:

Freedom from stress, pain, anger, jealousy, bad habits…

Freedom to express, to roam, to do what one wants…

It was all so mistaken.

I found that freedom is the ability to rest unfazed in the totality of whatever life is dishing up.  It can’t be cultivated.  It flows in when one stops believing life ought to be different, that it needs fixing, or any other commentary that the thinking machine generates.

Freedom is always waiting here, now, in exactly this, at the beginning and never the end.