Tag Archives: J Krishnamurti

the metamorphosis of the me

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If this “me” is not afraid of losing itself,

of no longer having anywhere to lay its head,

in short, when, pushed by the magnificent dynamism of doubt,

it is not afraid of disassociating itself from everything;

of rejecting its old associations,

and rejecting the new snares laid by the objects of the world in order to bind it to them;

of destroying the new entity which is being rebuilt on the ruins of the crumbling entity,

when this “me”, transformed into an incandescent torch

mercilessly burns all that is itself then one day,

becoming supremely conscious and no longer finding anything with which to associate,

that which remains of it leaps all together into the eternal flame which consumes all,

except the Eternal,

and being dead as an entity,

it is nothing but life.

~ Carlo Giuseppe Suarès
La Comédie Psychologique

.

mutation of the me

Image source: Au bout de la route blog
[If you can read French you’ll find this link very interesting – it’s a conversation between Suarès and J Krishnamurti.]

your original luminous brilliance

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“… whose only beacon
is this unlit light”

 

Although it might seem to be the case if the three little words are taken literally and out of context, THIS UNLIT LIGHT does not refer to some kind of light – mystical or mundane – that needs to be lit, like a candle or a light bulb. In some scriptures there are references to mystical light that must be lit, but that’s not what is referred to here. Let’s be clear about this beloveds, so that we’re dancing on the same page.

The phrase “this unlit light”, as I use it, refers to a light whose brilliant origin cannot be found – a light that was already alight prior to the “big bang” moment, and every moment imagined, dreamed, or experienced in any way by anything possessing sentience. It’s described as “unlit” because it has never been ‘turned-on’ or ‘lit’ by any known technology, mental or otherwise.

This self-luminous light is sometimes called transparent, nondual present awareness; it is seamlessly intimate to every sentient being – so close it cannot be perceived, yet present as the awareing of every perception.

“this unlit light” points to the luminous clarity of awareness that knows, and in which knowing all existence and experience are birthed and named, even as it remains unmoved. Actually, to say that it “knows” is a step too far. (Even to say it “alights” is untrue, for it does n-o-t-h-i-n-g.  Words about the ineffable are automatically a contradiction in terms.)

Diamond Clarity

If readers of this little blog have scrolled down to the bottom of the page they will have come upon these words from J Krishnamurti – they have been there since its launch 3 years ago  –

A mind that is awake, intelligent, free, why should it need,
why should it have, any “experience” at all?
Light is light; it does not ask for more Light.

Light is light. Nothing is required for this light to be alight; both darkness and brilliance are as its shadow.

“this unlit light” – like Bankei’s “Unborn mind” – is right now awareing these strings of words displayed on this brightly lit screen. Simply awareing. Not judging, reacting or even understanding; not labeling or seeking meaning. Those functions are the province of thought and memory – and the miraculous movement of creative story-smithing. Stories are without number, and if one of them includes the need for the Great Light to be lit, no problem – enjoy the dance!

It might sound outrageous and irreverent, but “this unlit light” couldn’t give a toss about nonduality or any other philosophy. It couldn’t care less whether we’re spaced-out in the absolute, or beavering away heart-fully in the relative, or perfectly aligned in wisdom-compassion. It couldn’t care less whether we’re a hip Advaita teacher or a fierce dispeller of ignorance, a serenely blissful yogini or a story-sabotaged suffering seeker. It’s utterly unaffected.

Utterly unaffected.

It simply abides. Receiving everything; rejecting nothing.

That’s why it’s felt as unconditional Love; that’s why it’s called Beloved.

Your true nature is something never lost to you,
even in moments of delusion,
nor is it gained at the moment of enlightenment.
It is the nature of your own mind,
the source of all things,
your original luminous brilliance.
You, the richest person in the world,
have been going around laboring and begging,
when all the while the treasure you seek is within you.
It is who you are.
~ Huang Po

[My emphasis]

 

SIMPLY REST IN THIS PURE DIAMOND-LIKE AWARENESS – TRANSPARENT, YET REFLECTING THE ENTIRE MIRAGE OF CREATION

 

Dedicated, with deep appreciation, to

| jk | jax | jac |

 

why you don’t really want to awaken

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Waking up can be
much more painful
than the agony
of your dream,
but waking up is real.

~ John de Ruiter

John de Ruiter, J Krishnamurti and UG Krishnamurti are alike in seeing clearly that the courage needed to turn to ‘look one’s self in the eye,’ to face the void or the faceless is far more than most of us possess.  This is why we invent esoteric worlds of power, magic, the paranormal, and fantasize about what we think ‘awakening’ might be – or endlessly read or listen to the versions put forth by those ‘in the know’ – rather than truly facing its shattering nature. UG’s words are uncompromising:

This state is not in your interest.
You are only interested in continuity,
probably on a different level,
and to function in a different dimension,
but you want to continue somehow.

You wouldn’t touch this with a barge pole.
This is going to liquidate what you call ‘you’,
all of you – higher self, lower self,
soul, Atman, conscious, subconscious – all of that.
You come to a point, and then you say “I need time.”

So Sadhana (inquiry and religious endeavor)
comes into the picture and you say to yourself
“Tomorrow I will understand.”
This structure is born of time and functions in time,
but does not come to an end through time.

If you don’t understand now,
you are not going to understand tomorrow.

What you are looking for does not exist.
You would rather tread an enchanted ground
with beatific visions of a radical transformation
of that non-existent self of yours
into a state of being which is conjured up
by some bewitching phrases.

That takes you away from your natural state
– it is a movement away from yourself.

To be yourself requires extraordinary intelligence.

You are ‘blessed’ with that intelligence;
nobody need give it to you,
nobody can take it away from you.

He who lets that express itself in its own way is a natural man.

~~~

It’s almost a decade since she-who-scribbles tumbled into the free-fall that would bring to an end her notions of who she was and the nature of self, mind, and world. Re-reading UG’s words today, especially the line “You are ‘blessed’ with that intelligence;” brought on an outpouring of gratitude. Who’d have thought that the estrangement and agony, the confusion and the sheer vertigo of dropping out of every version of a self would eventually be known as a blessing, a grace beyond words? But words are all she has, so the song goes like this:

the blessing

emelle says

homeless
I found the unassailable
rock of refuge

penniless
I found the treasure
that can’t be bought or sold

exhausted and ill
I found healing
in that which is ever whole

purposeless
I found delight
in every uninvited chore

outcast
I found my tribe:
the wild wideawake
wanderlings
whose only muse
is this nameless name
and whose only beacon
is this unlit light

 ~~~

sometimes compassion is a big stick

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There’s been a surprising amount of interest in a recent post on my blog at echoesfromemptiness.com

(Visitors to that site will be aware that the postings are notes that were penned several years ago as she-who-writes was feeling her way into an uninvited and unexpected view of life.)

The post is called hope is the enemy of peace.  It seems to want to be aired here as well – who knows why.  There’s nothing I’d change with the benefit of hindsight, however a few sentences have been added.

107

Morning Report:

pain, sinus, head-cold, cough, temperature,
toothache, knee-collapse
body demands attention and is receiving it

there is no desire for any of this to be other-than-it-is:
just now, like this, right here.

and this is the peace that was hungered for, sought
in every hopeful thought.

It’s a big say, but it can’t be denied:

hope is the enemy of true peace

for hope-full thoughts abandon actuality
projecting an idea-l scenario and
sabotaging the movement of an
incomprehensible Intelligence
which knows without knowing
and acts beyond right or wrong.

~

Peace is present the moment thought stops churning out its versions of a better me, a better you, a better world … sometime soon, hope-fully … and this unknowable Peace is the source of unscripted – therefore wholly creative – action.

To contribute to radical – not revolutionary – change, give up hope and rest in Peace.

Peace will show the way.

And be prepared: it might very well be a way that seems un-peaceful to the hope-generating thought machine.

Sometimes
compassion is a
big stick.
~ said His Holiness the Dalai Lama
speaking at Krishnamurti’s memorial service in Chennai, India.

~ miriam louisa

the niggle in the gut

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Awareness is always present – how else could one know one’s alive?  But as we also know – or sense – that’s not the end of the story. The “Awareness is all there is, therefore there’s no doer and nothing to do” position can be such a trap, and it’s one I can write about with some authority – having been leg-baited there for a while. It got me. I think of it as the “half-baked goose” period.

It’s a position that logic can’t refute. It might bring relief if there’s guilt, or if the search has been sickeningly long and fruitless. It always delivers an existential shudder, a shock to the system both physically and mentally. It can lead to nihilism and profound despair. A brain operating-system deprived of wise mentoring can get very very stuck there. It happens.

I’m not saying it shouldn’t happen. In my case it was a gift beyond price – with the benefit of hindsight of course.

The problem with this position is that you know in your innards that something isn’t right. You feel … uneasiness. This has to be denied, of course, and denial deepens the unease. You argy-bargy with yourself: “There’s only Awareness. There’s no self, so who’s here to be in denial? Everything is just happening.”

In a very subtle and sneaky way, thought has turned the shattering revelation that “Awareness is all” to serve its own ends. This is precisely thought’s function; we can’t (and needn’t) damn it for doing its job. But the problem is that most of us haven’t really got a grip on the subtle functioning of thought. We aren’t on to its dynamics. How could we be? It’s not part of the curriculum in our education. (Unless you’ve been lucky enough to be educated at Brockwood Park School, or one of the other Krishnamurti schools worldwide.)

So we miss the way the thinking process (not yours or mine or anyone’s) has shifted the ground to take up another position in regard to this wondrous Awareness. We grokked the first bit, the bit about Awareness being ever-present and all-there-is. But Awareness has remained an object with something apart from it (me) going on about it. This rankles, this is the niggle in the gut. What’s up?

Thought can’t accept that Awareness is the one thing it can never, ever, know anything about. In spite of all the dialogues and seminars and conferences and retreats we attend, in spite of all the youtubes we watch and books we devour, we don’t know a thing about Awareness – except, ironically, that nothing can be known. Eventually this sinks in. There’s a crisis where we admit to ourselves that perhaps the goose isn’t fully cooked after all. A very humbling moment. Exquisite.

This is the point at which some kind of Grace finds space and a ‘eureka!’ moment lights up our weary mind. The gist of it goes like this:

Awareness is always all and everything and always present.
Presence is the dynamic by which Awareness knows itself.
Presence and the movement of thought/thinking are mutually exclusive.
Presence is literally the undivided Be-ing of Awareness.

And Presence is entirely up to you, because, um, what else could you be
but Presence itself?

Well OMG it’s all about me after all. Bless my beloved wee boots!

You can know the false only
the Truth you must yourself be.
~ Nisargadatta Maharaj

And so the turn is made. Presence cooks the goose. The argy-bargy stops. Awareness re-turns to itself in delight. And the entire body-mind thrills to rightness and ease.

– miriam louisa

what gets your attention creates you

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My mother’s mother was a wise one. She understood the dynamics of the thinking machine. She was aware that her thoughts were not her or hers, that they arrived uninvited and that not all deserved to be made welcome as guests. Talking about such unfamiliar notions in the early 20th century, a farmer’s wife on a high country New Zealand sheep station a hundred miles from anywhere brought sideways glances and cast her as an outsider. (What’s new, huh?)

She liked to say, “Stand porter at the door of thought.” Perhaps she’d read that somewhere, or even made it up herself, whatever – it was etched in pokerwork on my fresh young hard-drive.

My mother was a chip off the old block, philosophically speaking. Her favorite aphorism was, “What gets your attention gets you.” Come in after school with a bellyfull of moans about how one had been bullied or unfairly punished or cheated on, and that’s what you’d hear. Hmmm. She should’ve been called Kali, my mum.

So, unlike most kids (I suspect) I grew up with a healthy skepticism re thoughts, thinking, and even the ‘thinker’. When I came across the teachings of J Krishnamurti there was huge relief, because all through the years of my early education I had met no one outside my family who was remotely concerned about the way one’s thinking unfolds one’s experience.

But it would take the passing of many moons before the nonduality teachings of the Advaita sages would reveal the baseline error in both Granny’s and Mum’s pithy sayings, and explain why, in spite of their apparent wisdom, they actually made little difference. One was still locked into the effects generated by thinking – both one’s own, and that of others.

The error lies in the unexamined assumption that there is a separate self who can take up the role of that “porter”, or who can be ‘got’ if attention fixates somewhere it shouldn’t.

This morning, while mulling over delicate family business, the aphorisms reshuffled and restated themselves in a fresh cluster of words.

Thoughts are arising here.

The ones that receive attention create me.

 
Granny and Mum would know exactly what I mean. They’d be chuckling away like two crazy crones. Good company for this one eh?
 

memo to exhausted spiritual practitioners

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This Unlit Light - Letting go, resting in Presence

 

Here’s a little heresy for the Sabbath:  Nothing you can ever do, even if you do it a hundred thousand times in the most sacred spot on Earth, can bring you closer to the brilliant Light of Being that you are.

That you are!  Already.

Practice.  Path.  Method.  Journey.  Quest.  (Usually preceded by ‘my’ and ‘spiritual’.)  All are equally guaranteed to propel you away from what you seek.

Krishnamurti used to say, “Truth is a pathless land.”  We loved his “pathless path” the way Zenners love their “gateless gate”.  But both these cultified terms still leave one with the notion of a ‘way’ and a destination, even though they strive for the very opposite.

Nowadays we hear a great deal about the “direct path” to awakening or enlightenment, but I reject this term too, on the same grounds.  Truth is indeed a pathless land – but for some reason we find it impossible to accept that this land cannot be reached by paths or practices.  We are time and motion junkies.  Until exhaustion sets in.

So here’s my memo:

Please just rest.

Rest with this, right here, now.

Relax and enjoy the View

for the View is you,

naked and sacred.