Tag Archives: IT

unimaginable: unfurling unlit light

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In the deep darkness of night – no slumber in sight – bum sits on cushion, eyelids draw down of their own accord, breath flows in breath flows out.  Beat of heart, song of great silence.

Out of infinite velvet blackness points of energy emerge.

They spiral into appearance, and as they do so they take on mandala-like forms.  Some are glorious flowers.  Others are crystalline and geometric.  Others are snowflake-like, a blend of organic curvaceous-ness and geometric patterning.  Still others are spirals, simple vortexes, or radiating arms like the spira mirabilis.  There is no color, only milk-white light playing in the black vastness.

The energy forms appear to move towards the witnessing Awareness, spiraling and expanding, and then they move right through and into IT –

an endlessly unfurling pulsation
emerging, spiraling, flowering, and flowing,
penetrating and dissolving into
the unknowable Knowingness
that is ceaselessly watching.

~ echoes from emptiness

the fallacy of finding oneself

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Have you been sucked into the lie that what you really ARE is something you need to find, or discover, or recover?  And then heal or train or perfect?  It’s commonly touted by earnest souls with a course, program, book or DVD to sell.

I was an eager member of their audience in my dreamtime march toward betterment.  It was all good fun and perhaps helped shape the ‘me’-ing being into a more accomplished/productive/compliant ‘person.’  But none of it led me to my ‘true’ self.  It just created different versions of the wee-me that was a totally addicted seeker.

Meanwhile, the Self I was seeking simply watched, utterly unaffected.  One day I stopped being busy with the me-ing long enough to cast a glance over my shoulder, metaphorically-speaking.  And there IT was.  Already perfect, already total, already all I had hoped to know and to be.

The shock of it! Of realizing one had fallen for the fallacy of separation when no such estrangement could ever be possible for one second…

The sweetness of the relief! Of knowing that nothing could ever be done to bring one closer to – or take one away from – this intimacy…

The joy of it!  Of knowing that the wild creative awake Beingness that one longed for is here, and always has been:

doing Life ITs own way and calling ITself “ME”

– billions, trillions, of versions of IT,

all called “ME”!

~ miriam louisa

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a b i d e … r e s t … m e l t

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What if there was a world you could slip into without effort of any kind, a world where you had no name, no status, no history?  A world where you didn’t have to know anything about striving to be richer, healthier, more creative, more attractive, more lovable? Imagine a world where the words enlightenment, awakening, freedom, salvation, were yet to be thought-up.  What if that world was real and ever-available, no conditions ever attached?

And what if that world was the Real World, for it was – unlike the dream world one normally inhabits – ever-present and changeless?  What if that world – which would be more accurately called ‘world-ing’ – was one’s natural home and substance?  What if IT was closer, more intimate than anything one could conceive?

Wouldn’t that change everything?

IT is here, right now, in just this.  Just this everythingness and whateverness.

Abide.  Rest.  Melt.

The Oneness we fondly call Beloved is waiting: bouquets in one hand, a big broom in the other.  You will be taken, you will be loved, you will be cleansed and re-formatted.  And you will eventually  – it might take a while, depending on the extent of your self-delusion – find it impossible to return to the old world.  In fact it ceases to exist for you; it has been absorbed by the new View.

What if all it took was a backing away from beliefs of any kind – even poetic expressions like the previous paragraph?  What if thoughts of any kind were the only obstacle to Truth?

Wouldn’t you want to find out for yourself?

You are warmly invited.  Admittance is free … but costs everything.

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once you know

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Once you know

and you know that you know

that you are unknowable

Knowingness

and you fall headlong

into that wideawake wonderment

taking ITs name

as your own

at last,

at last,

IT takes over.

IT creates a new order

in the apparition

called body

and the energy mandala

called mind.

IT choreographs the dance:

the giving,

the emptying,

the cleansing

of the field

and

the opening and ordering

of a new life

mandala

ceaselessly forming and

re-forming and

alive

with energy,

shimmering

with Light,

and you find your place

as ITs centre

knowing

you are home at last.

 

– miriam louisa

you might wonder why you ever hungered for Truth

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Do you really want this?  Or do you just want your fluffy ideas about IT to ice your life with sweet pink sugar?  It’s oft been said that the reality of this eyelid-ripping calamity called awakening turns out to be the last thing imagined by the erstwhile seeker.  I cannot argue with this.

When the Beloved gets you by the short curlies dear seeker IT surely will turn you inside out and shake you all about.  IT will sweep through you like a triple-dose laxative.  You will find yourself doing all sorts of unexpected things – things you’d never have been party to in the days when you knew so well what it would be like when . . .

When this savage wisdom enters the lifestream you call “me” IT will re-align anything that’s out of order – dysfunctional, dis-eased – without you having to visit your therapist.  IT will have you performing rituals of cleansing and forgiveness on your knees – yes, you who loved to hide behind the nondual façade and ask but who could err and who could be hurt?  IT will, as my Aussie mates like to say “Rip you in three and plait you.”  To plait is to braid, and Truth has a different twist to your Life skein than you could ever have imagined.

You might wonder why you ever hungered for Truth.  You might even furtively look for a way out.  But Truth’s flow is a one way surge and there are no exits.

Be very sure you really want this.  If you do, be ready to lose everything you think you are and IT is.  If that sounds extreme, you aren’t ready for Truth’s embrace and for the sweet peace that truly “passeth all understanding.”  Which is no problem at all, because whatever you are ready for is the play of Creation, creating.  To Truth, you see, it makes no difference at all.  The dance goes on regardless.

~ miriam louisa

Note – Truth/IT/Beloved/Creation all refer to the same ineffability in this post.

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the biggest mistake

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Sometimes the sweet synchronicity of life is enough to render one speechless.  I’ve commented several times about how Awareness – aka Freedom, Beloved, Reality, Truth, or whatever your pet word for IT might be – excludes nothing, and I mean nothing.  Surprisingly, perhaps, an opening, a softening towards this unknowable essence seems to relax one’s default defenses and allow some pretty challenging stuff to surface.  Not that it must be ‘dealt with’ or analyzed or healed or anything – that doesn’t occur to one. The stuff comes up, it’s allowed – without a story unfolding – tears flow or not, and it all vaporizes.  It can be heavy, but Awareness remains unmoved.

What changes, in terms of one’s experience, is this: the relationship with what arises from within, or what is dealt from without, is radically different.  Suffering simply doesn’t occur, because there are no preferences being trotted out.  And it seems that the more one’s default position is that of quietly resting as pure undivided Awareing, the sweeter, easier and calmer life becomes.  (Well, it always was thus, but one’s been too busy organizing it to notice.)

So I’ve always been slightly mystified by those who claim that this utterly natural state somehow obliterates the undesirable bits of human experience.  They write or speak of attributes like love and compassion and bliss – which they often prescribe practices to develop.  Is it even logical to consider developing that which is already utterly natural? I’m not sure which part of the goose isn’t cooked for such folk, but they haven’t got to the stuffing yet.  So when this little gem arrived from Jax I took out my cheering pompoms and did a little dance.  No, I wasn’t photographed – unseemly for a woman of a certain age … chuckles …

But the biggest mistake that almost all practitioners and teachers make is to think that when one is in Awareness, that one will have a pleasurable, peaceful, spacious state free of uncomfortable emotions, ego and confused thoughts.

Actually Awareness has no content of its “own”.  It is not bliss. It is not clarity.  It is not love.  It is not peace.  It is not compassion.  But it is present in all of those as well as every other possible experience equally.
~ Jackson Peterson

Speaking of women of a certain age, I can’t resist sharing a tit-bit from my favorite stand-up comic of the nonduality circus – wideawake Viki Woodyard. Vicki is someone who knows a great deal about the kind of tough cards life can deal. But she grabs the chocolates and scribbles on:

Today I have eaten sugar again and again. Why? Because it is there; heaped on the kitchen counter are a marzipan Yule Pig, a Mozart Piano Bar, a chocolate Santa, a coconut wreath, Godiva Peppermint Truffles and Gems, Lindt Truffles, Dove Chocolates, A Smore wrapped in cellophane and a little box of Jelly Belly Bean Boozles. These feature jelly beans with the auspicious titles of Skunk Spray, Pencil Shavings, Canned Dog Food, Barf and yes, my favorite, Baby Wipes.

I look in the mirror and see a pasty face with a terrible haircut. See a woman who has recently been crying and not becomingly. Is this the girl that started out on her spiritual quest determined to find the meaning of life. That slender sylph that had dark hair and naturally arched eyebrows. Look again. She is now squarely in her sixties, a writer coming into her own at an alarmingly advanced age. She is usually frank, truthful and edgy. Couple that with graceful, simple and tender and you have a fraction of what it was to be married to said writer. Nothing I would wish on anybody. Nevertheless, someone is looking down on me with love and hoping I will find my way to being a real writer one day soon. What does he know, sitting up there on his fluffy white cloud? The guy needs a Bean Boozle if you ask me. I still have a Rotten Egg and a Booger left. If that won’t entice him to come back down here on earth, I don’t know what will.
~Vicki Woodyard

 

It’s gotta be the ultimate Reality check, you know:  can you recognize the Truth in a barf or a booger?