Why is it so hard to accept that one is already fully, utterly wideawake?

I’ve a wispy memory of beloved Ramesh writing in one of his books that this acceptance is perhaps the ultimate hurdle for the seeker. And herein lies the clue: the seeker.

The seeker-self  is about to become redundant. Totally irrelevant. The seeker-self is smelling its own death. It cannot afford to accept the awesome and evident fact that seeking – which is the natural movement of Wholeness returning to Itself – is not the action of a self of any description. The seeker-self is a construct, just like any other version of a self. And it turns out it’s the only impediment to the search!

It is only when you hunt for it that you lose it.  But then you cannot get rid of it.  And while you cannot do either, you remain silent and it speaks.  You speak and it is gone.  The great gate of charity is wide open, with no obstacles before it.
~ Lao Tzu

For the weary, frustrated, disgusted, infuriated seeker-self the days are numbered. There will be a eureka. In its own good time, according to its own pattern. It will be a eureka moment that renews and relights itself with every breath. And when that comes to pass you will know that it is simply ridiculous to deny it. Why would you apologize for what you are?

You hear the birds?
You see the sun?
Who is not enlightened?
~ Zen saying