are you so sure you are not awake?

Enza Vita writes with refreshingly ruthless clarity on the myth of “awakening” as an experience, a state or some kind of esoteric attainment which will guarantee unshakeable bliss and the end of all one’s undesirable failings and foibles . . .

 ~

“I know I am still not awake, and I have a tremendous longing to be free.”

 ~

Are you so sure you are not awake?  Are you sure you understand what “awake” is?
Why do you think that you are not awake?  What is this I that is in this unenlightened condition?

All questions contain and perpetuate certain assumptions that we see as the boundaries in life.  While thinking that you are not “awake,” you are believing that you are somehow lacking something.  That is what is played over and over again in your mind, and it causes you great suffering.  Do not fall into that trap!  Go to the root.  What is it that is aware of this statement?  Realize what is at the root of that experience of not being awake and it will free you from the assumed limitations.

You are already free; however, this is a freedom that has never known bondage and so cannot even be called freedom.  This freedom doesn’t come from some action to attain it, but from the realizing of a freedom that has never been constrained.  As the seeker you feel bondage because of your belief in a separate I, a separate ego, and this ego imagines that this freedom means a freedom to do whatever it wants.

Real freedom is liberation from the bondage of the ego.  When the concept of an I goes, the question of freedom is resolved.  Then you are free to be in harmony with what is, as it is.

You already are this freedom pervading everything and everywhere.  All boundaries and limitations are in your imagination only.  Like the space in a room, you are already free.  Just like the four walls cannot contain the space within it, so the body-mind cannot contain awareness unless awareness is imagining itself imprisoned.

You see clouds in the sky, and they may pass in front of the sun, but does this change the nature of the sun?  Perhaps the clouds are signaling a coming thunderstorm, but does a storm change the nature of the sun?  Your thoughts and feelings are like these clouds.  They sometimes seem to obscure the light of your inner self, but they do not change it.  First see what you are.  Understand your true nature.  Then you see that what dances in front of you does not affect you at all.  Focus on that sunlight, and not on the clouds!

~

Enza Vita
Source: Enza Vita’s Newsletter.  Sign up for it at http://www.enzavita.com – where you’ll also find information about her new book “Always Already Free”.

infinite space and light

Vale, sweet, uncompromising Clara.

We are eternally grateful.

~

Awakened awareness without trace of thought
is the triumph of the sole One.

Clara Llum

Be aware that you are. Be aware that you are aware, right now.  At any given moment, rest in that simplicity of being yourself, free from labels or concepts of “myself.”  The very beingness, the very awareness is the constant “you”, the true you, faceless, formless, empty, cognizant, all containing, all inclusive.

Be aware of being…  Aware of being aware.

Meditate, stay with this awareness that you are and that is you.

Worship it, dive in it, make of it your home, and all will unfold.

Self-present awareness – awareness that is present in itself. Watch your watchfulness, be conscious of being conscious right now…

Aware-ing is happening, see it, know it, be with it, that’s all.

The mirror looks in the mirror, infinite space and light.

All enlightenment comes naturally from this. All wisdom, all peace, all realization.

~ Clara Llum

Source:  http://www.youaretrulyloved.com/enlightenment/an-interview-on-awakening-with-clara-llum/

Via:  Jerry Katz  at the Nonduality Highlights

wounded, weary, and wideawake

The invasion was unexpected and uninvited; it happened
one numinous now
when the minder of memories had her back turned.

In crept wild wideawakeness, sleuthing
through this dormitory of sleeping stories,
slipping from cocoon to cocoon
dubbing each bedded-down memory
with its diamond dagger and pronouncing each one
an esteemed and luminous Member of the Matrix.

It lifted up the wounded and the weary,
the lost and lonesome, the betrayed
and the broken, saying

To know this pain, beloved
is to know That which is beyond time
for That alone has the capacity to be aware
and in your naked awareness of your pain
you are naturally ever-enlightened.

You imagine your enlightenment to be
other than this wretchedness –
you take it as proof that you
haven’t yet “made the shift”
yet how could pain (or pleasure) be known
if enlightenment were not fully present?

By what function of cognition
would you aware this knowing?
By both logic and experience it’s found
that the unlit light of awareness
is prior to every sensory perception.

Will you stay tucked up in your cocoon
dreaming of the mirage of your awakening
shimmering in some distant space and time
or will you blink now
and own up to your feral freedom?

I blinked
and
disappeared.

I never knew

Take off the backpack
Lie down in the long grass.
Pull up the blue sky-blanket.
Rest.

So many years of Dharma practice,
Straight-spine diligence, straining toward
enlightenment.
Today.
This hillside.
Just this.

Lie down in the long grass.
Let the earth take you.
Deer tracks and horse dung
and the eye within the eye,
revolving and luminous.

I never knew this.
Did no one ever tell me?

I remember my Zen master in the interview room,
‘Trust yourself,’ he said. ‘Just be yourself.’

I think his meaning was this:

Take off the backpack,
Lie down in the long grass.
Let the sky take you.
Rest.
Breathe space
into space
into space.

I never knew there was this much light!

~ Helen Dhara Gatling-Austin
October 31, 1998


You may already be familiar with this beautiful poem by Helen Dhara Gatling-Austin. I know it has been posted on many a blog and group over the last couple of decades, but to my mind, it’s one of those classics that never age or fail to inspire. It deserves frequent airings! For this post I sourced it from the Nonduality Highlights archive.

the beauty of your absence

The following wideawake wisdom-shots are from an interview with Jean Klein conducted by Stephan Bodian.  I found this interaction, quite simply, amazing. It covers all the ground from the initial apperception of the impossibility of a separate ‘me’-self, to the exaltation of ultimate liberation. Please follow the link below the quotes to read the entire transcript. Gratitude to the Nonduality Highlights for sharing this treasure.

Liberation means to live freely in the beauty of your absence.  You see at one moment that there’s nothing seen and no seer.  Then you live it.

For me, the point of meditation is only to look for the meditator.  When we find out that the meditator, the one who looks for God, for beauty, for peace, is only a product of the brain and that there is nothing to find, there is a giving up.  What remains is a current of silence.  You can never come to this silence through practice, through achievement.

First you must see how you function.  And you’ll see that you function as somebody, as a person.  You live constantly in choice.  You live completely in the psychological structure of like and dislike, which brings you sorrow.

If you identify yourself with your personality, it means you identify yourself as your memory because personality is memory, what I call psychological memory.  In this seeing, this natural giving up, the personality goes away.  And when you live in this nothingness, something completely different emerges.  Instead of seeing life in terms of the projections of your personality, things appear in your life as they are, as facts.  And these appearings naturally bring their own solution.  You are no longer identified with your personality, with psychological memory, though your functional memory remains. Instead, there is a cosmic personality, a trans–personality, that appears and disappears when you need it.  You are nothing more than a channel, responding according to the situation.

Enlightenment – being understanding – is instantaneous.

Once you attain this enlightenment or this current do you then exist in it all the time?

Constantly.  But it’s not a state.  When there’s a state, there is mind.

Even when you give up the last object, we still remain in the duality of subject and object. You’re still in a kind of blank state, and this blank state itself becomes an extremely subtle object.  In this state, it is very difficult to give up the subject – object relationship.  Once you’ve attained it, you’re locked into it, fixed to it.  There’s a kind of quietness, but there’s no flavor, no taste.  To bring it to the point where the object vanishes and you abide in the beingness, a tremendous teacher or exceptional circumstances are necessary.

~ Jean Klein, interviewed by Stephan Bodian

Source: Undivided Journal

meetings with remarkable women

Shawn Nevins at Poetry in Motion Films has recently released another “small film about big ideas” – this time a beautiful documentary about women and awakening.

Filmed in 2010 and 2011, Meetings With Remarkable Women explores women’s spirituality and the divine feminine through the spiritual paths of five women from varied backgrounds:

  • Linda — an Australian spiritual teacher whose discipline of meditation led to a profound spiritual realization.
  • Anima — whose childhood in India steeped her in spiritual traditions, but it took a journey to America before she realized her true desire was to find enlightenment.
  • Jem — who lived the roles of wife, mother, engineer, musician, and writer before discovering Reiki and A Course in Miracles; paths that eventually led her to a spiritual awakening.
  • Heather — from Christian to Atheist, Buddhist to free-form seeker of self knowledge wrestling with meditation, self-inquiry, and prayer.
  • Deborah — who, after the tragic loss of her husband, launched a years-long spiritual path through ancient Buddhist texts and the practice of Yoga that culminated in the discovery of a deep and lasting inner peace.
Yoga, Buddhism, meditation; enlightenment, awakening, realization, inner peace; Christianity, Atheism; Reiki, A Course in Miracles; Australia, India, America; loss and revelation: it’s all here as each woman tells a compelling story of struggle and discovery that is worthy of viewing time and again.
~

Call it spiritual cinema, spiritual documentary, or spiritual film, we’re engaged in examining the perennial questions: where did I come from? what has meaning? why am I here? where am I going? what is this place?

Through small films about big ideas, Poetry in Motion Films hopes to expand your possibilities for a life well-lived.

© Copyright Poetry in Motion Films 2012

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why you don’t really want to awaken

Waking up can be
much more painful
than the agony
of your dream,
but waking up is real.

~ John de Ruiter

John de RuiterJ Krishnamurti and UG Krishnamurti are alike in seeing clearly that the courage needed to turn to ‘look one’s self in the eye,’ to face the void or the faceless is far more than most of us possess.  This is why we invent esoteric worlds of power, magic, the paranormal, and fantasize about what we think ‘awakening’ might be – or endlessly read or listen to the versions put forth by those ‘in the know’ – rather than truly facing its shattering nature. UG’s words are uncompromising:

This state is not in your interest.
You are only interested in continuity,
probably on a different level,
and to function in a different dimension,
but you want to continue somehow.

You wouldn’t touch this with a barge pole.
This is going to liquidate what you call ‘you’,
all of you – higher self, lower self,
soul, Atman, conscious, subconscious – all of that.
You come to a point, and then you say “I need time.”

So Sadhana (inquiry and religious endeavor)
comes into the picture and you say to yourself
“Tomorrow I will understand.”
This structure is born of time and functions in time,
but does not come to an end through time.

If you don’t understand now,
you are not going to understand tomorrow.

What you are looking for does not exist.
You would rather tread an enchanted ground
with beatific visions of a radical transformation
of that non-existent self of yours
into a state of being which is conjured up
by some bewitching phrases.

That takes you away from your natural state
– it is a movement away from yourself.

To be yourself requires extraordinary intelligence.

You are ‘blessed’ with that intelligence;
nobody need give it to you,
nobody can take it away from you.

He who lets that express itself in its own way is a natural man.

~~~

It’s almost a decade since she-who-scribbles tumbled into the free-fall that would bring to an end her notions of who she was and the nature of self, mind, and world. Re-reading UG’s words today, especially the line “You are ‘blessed’ with that intelligence;” brought on an outpouring of gratitude. Who’d have thought that the estrangement and agony, the confusion and the sheer vertigo of dropping out of every version of a self would eventually be known as a blessing, a grace beyond words? But words are all she has, so the song goes like this:

the blessing

emelle says

homeless
I found the unassailable
rock of refuge

penniless
I found the treasure
that can’t be bought or sold

exhausted and ill
I found healing
in that which is ever whole

purposeless
I found delight
in every uninvited chore

outcast
I found my tribe:
the wild wideawake
wanderlings
whose only muse
is this nameless name
and whose only beacon
is this unlit light

 ~~~