Today is the 4th day of the 4th month and 9 years since my mother breathed her last at 4am.
This little blog was created to express my gratitude for her wondrous wideawakeness and wisdom; she was a priceless teacher for me. Her lessons – lived in her everyday life – deepen and mature in me as the years go by. She gave us 97 years of her presence. Even on her deathbed she was wide-eyed and full of praise for everyone.
This year I’m moved to share words from two teachers she’d have loved for their open-hearted honesty, warmth, sweetness, and for their radiant wisdom: Joan Ruvinsky and Robert K Hall. Joan was speaking shortly before her death. Robert is still with us, but his departure is immanent.
just this… in all its simplicity…
welcoming what is here already…
not coming… not going…
obscured even by seeking…
So we meet in the paradox of apparent teachings, retreats, trainings or gatherings, to celebrate and explore this nameless presence that we are. At first, there is the tendency to accentuate the myriad of practices the yoga tradition has developed, to focus on concepts like nondual, true nature, awareness, self-inquiry or other-inquiry.
But all this activity eventually leads us to a giving up. And in this surrender what is revealed is seen to be what has always been here, before the search began, during its full intensity and after its cessation. The task turns out to be ceding to stillness, and in that stillness the recognition of just this.
Falling back and resting in what is so familiar that it has been overlooked during all the body sensing yoga, during all the pranayama, all the yoga nidra and amidst all the dialogues, amidst life itself, we find our self simply sinking back into just this.
Letting go is not an easy process, especially how much I’m enjoying life, surrounded by so much love and people who take good care of me… I have talked at length about my experience and difficulties about the dying process… today I’d like reflect on the positive side and share my experience about the joy of dying…
This short talk (8:07) expresses so much warmth, love, joy and presence, it will melt your heart.
For more videos and audio teachings: Robert K Hall Dharma Talks
From the archives:
grief is a shower of grace
the gift of grief
here is where the vista opens
the cosmic chirp
Beautiful photo of you and your darling mother! It says it all! ❤️
It is really 9 years? The memory is so vivid, fresh, here! NOW
Dear Slavka – I thought of you as I wrote this post. You were so often there with us at the Boatshed Cafe as we indulged in our love of coffee and the view of the Bay. I can’t think of those days without appreciation for you and your friendship.
Love and blessings to you!
BEAUTIFUL! beyond words Timely NOW!!!! THANK YOU AGAIN & ALWAYS!!!!!
Love to you dear Dorothea… I’m happy you liked this little offering. ❤
Reading Joan Ruvinsky’s piece dropped me directly into the end of seeking I find so clearly expressed in Robert Saltzman’s book, the experience of it. Also, what a delight to see your mom!