I’m out of my mind

Rainforest Hermitage

 

there I was
in the grip of
grimness
in the midst
of this glorious
rainforest

self-loathing had its
garrote
around my throat
and depression urged it
to finish the job

the cackling clockwork chorus
was in full voice:
homeless, hopeless!
alone, undeserving!
penniless, shameful!
exhausted, wimp!
confused, idiot!
repeat
repeat

 

repeat

 

then suddenly, a shift,

– subtle yet seismic –

and I’m out of my mind
and absorbed into a bright beingness
that needs no healing
because it knows no
brokenness

the clamor dies down
consciousness folds itself
back into its contents

the light
that’s never needed a housekeeper
beams itself up as a
world
that falls to its mossy knees
and scribbles a poem


birthday poem 2013

10 thoughts on “I’m out of my mind

  1. i’ve been there, with the self-loathing and then too with that glorious sunburst you express so well here… something that particularly spoke to me & filled me with longing:

    … a bright beingness
    that needs no healing
    because it knows no
    brokenness

  2. how deeply I understand your emotional state during this writing, Miriam Louisa. Thank you for so eloquently expressing what so many of us, apparently, have been feeling. Blessings on the journey, Leigh

  3. Dearests – your comments are so welcome and deeply appreciated. I’m sorry to be tardy, and not respond individually as I often do – we have been whipped and drenched by storms associated with a tropical cyclone, losing all links to civilization for a few days. Imagine – no internet connection!

    Many are still isolated by flooding – and many have lost everything. It seems that these days Australia is either drowning or burning. But … at least we aren’t killing each other in ideological disputes. Mercy!

    Be safe and happy. Please.

    You are loved!
    ~ml

  4. so much inspiration here
    so many insights
    one could be overwhelmed
    but what good would that be

    one step at a time
    deeper into into the unknown
    deeper into the rainforest
    through flood and fire

    the wind blowing where it wills
    inward outward
    from above from below
    from inside or is it

    the gentle breeze on my skin
    encouraging yes fanning hope
    all is as it is and will be
    que sera sera

    who is writing here
    Nan yar
    the answer is blowing in the wind
    the search is ended

    ah the great perfection
    sweeter than honey
    more durable than rock
    just follow the signs

    arno

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