there I was
in the grip of
grimness
in the midst
of this glorious
rainforest
self-loathing had its
garrote
around my throat
and depression urged it
to finish the job
the cackling clockwork chorus
was in full voice:
homeless, hopeless!
alone, undeserving!
penniless, shameful!
exhausted, wimp!
confused, idiot!
repeat
repeat
repeat
then suddenly, a shift,
– subtle yet seismic –
and I’m out of my mind
and absorbed into a bright beingness
that needs no healing
because it knows no
brokenness
the clamor dies down
consciousness folds itself
back into its contents
the light
that’s never needed a housekeeper
beams itself up as a
world
that falls to its mossy knees
and scribbles a poem
–
this unlit light 
Ah, Miriam, exquisite. I was in a similar rain forest this week. I adore your last verse–the light that never needed a housekeeper! And a world falling to its mossy knees! Mmmm. Thank you.
addendum: I should have said I was in the rain forest this week attuned to a similar grim chorus!
This is the most beautiful post yet…thank you Dear ML.xo
Thanks for the morning tear. Happy birthday indeed!
What a redemptive, extraordinary piece. I thank you for this and for capturing the quicksilver shift we have all experienced but find difficult to describe.
just ahhhhhh – hh – h
and thanks
and hugs
if “this” is huggable
i’ve been there, with the self-loathing and then too with that glorious sunburst you express so well here… something that particularly spoke to me & filled me with longing:
… a bright beingness
that needs no healing
because it knows no
brokenness
how deeply I understand your emotional state during this writing, Miriam Louisa. Thank you for so eloquently expressing what so many of us, apparently, have been feeling. Blessings on the journey, Leigh
Dearests – your comments are so welcome and deeply appreciated. I’m sorry to be tardy, and not respond individually as I often do – we have been whipped and drenched by storms associated with a tropical cyclone, losing all links to civilization for a few days. Imagine – no internet connection!
Many are still isolated by flooding – and many have lost everything. It seems that these days Australia is either drowning or burning. But … at least we aren’t killing each other in ideological disputes. Mercy!
Be safe and happy. Please.
You are loved!
~ml
so much inspiration here
so many insights
one could be overwhelmed
but what good would that be
one step at a time
deeper into into the unknown
deeper into the rainforest
through flood and fire
the wind blowing where it wills
inward outward
from above from below
from inside or is it
the gentle breeze on my skin
encouraging yes fanning hope
all is as it is and will be
que sera sera
who is writing here
Nan yar
the answer is blowing in the wind
the search is ended
ah the great perfection
sweeter than honey
more durable than rock
just follow the signs
arno