looking for the perfect lover?

Are you looking for a relationship in which you will feel unconditionally accepted and loved, where there’s complete consistency that you can trust, where jealousy, competition and pride don’t rear their ugly heads, where absolutely no effort is required to sustain or maintain the dynamics, where there is no sense of separation between you and your beloved, and where you are 100% free to be ‘who you are’ and express your ‘self?’

If I told you that you could have it all would you believe me? Would you check it out for yourself? Would you suspend every desire and every story about your past, present and future? Would you suspend the need, the compulsion, to be ‘in a relationship?’ Just for an experiment, just to investigate?

Would you settle on your zafu, or whatever landing/launching pad you prefer, and look – I mean really look – at what’s looking? Look into what’s knowing and experiencing this livingness that wears your name?

The look-ing is the Lover.
The know-ing is the Lover.
The experience-ing is the Lover.
The wide-awake spacious Aware-ing that is ‘I’ is the Lover.

Die into the inescapable presence of the Lover, beloved.

And then you will know that ‘relationship’ is an obsolete notion.

There is only the Lover.

~ miriam louisa

11 thoughts on “looking for the perfect lover?

  1. Hi Miriam Louisa,
    This lover has been seen in look-ing, know-ing, experience-ing,
    the wide awake space-ing that only Awareness is and an
    intimacy that only awareness could be.
    But there has not been this death.

    • Sweet Leslie – I love your comment! Thank you.

      Here’s another heart-whisper: this Lover – so familiar to you – waits patiently on the other side of your thought that there has not been “this death.”

      If It has been “seen”, “known”, “experienced” – all of which are quite impossible really, since It is not separate from each or any of these perceptions – then it is simply a lie to deny Its presence.

      But sometimes It likes to play the denial game – It is free to do so! It did for years in my case. I was always expecting, waiting for, something ELSE than the nuts and bolts, warts and worries of daily life. And always trying to join up the dots of my experiences to find deeper messages and meanings. It’s hugely seductive, this game, and we are supported in it by – everything and everyone. Nothing wrong with it. But one day you realize you’re over it. Which is really to say that Lover realizes It is over it.

      And something else flowers – so familiar you can’t believe you missed it.

      Sorry to go on at such length. Lover won’t shut up sometimes! 🙂

      miriam louisa xxxx

  2. Hi Miriam Lousia,
    Thank you for such a sweet and in-depth reply. You mention…”I was always expecting, waiting for, something ELSE than the nuts and bolts, warts and worries of daily life.” Sometimes I get a better sense of this and a deeper feeling of acceptance of what is… that there is no other IT than this. That is cool…then I get freaked out :O
    If Meg is still ‘around’ I wanted to mention that her last post was funny as heck. Anything making me laugh like that is greatly appreciated. I was unable to leave a response on her blog so here it is…Thank you Meg…Thank you Dear ML’a…I soooooooooo appreciate all of you.

    • Thank you, M-A! I’ve seen my work on ‘The Awakened Eye’, and always wondered how it got there, who put it there, etc. So now I know who to thank! Love the site, and am so glad to have found your blog, as it addresses the very issues that I’m currently struggling with. Sometimes it feels like I could just reach out and touch the Lover…..he seems so close….and yet so elusive.

      Thanks, Leslie. I’m glad to know that you had a laugh. 🙂 I definitely amuse myself, so good to know that I’ve made someone else smile.

      Best to both of you. I’m getting so much out of these “conversations”.


      Meg and her Lover

    • *No other IT than This!*

      What a great line, Leslie – I can almost hear it set to music …

      Freaking out’s ok.

      How does *IT* feel about freaking or not-freaking? Couldn’t care less, right? *IT* just keeps on being Being. Don’t ya LOVE that?

      You are sooooooooo loved and appreciated too … xxxx


  3. “Lover won’t shut up sometimes!” Thank God for that…
    ML’a and Meg…loved going through all the artwork and links. And I loved seeing Corita Kent on the awakenedeye page. Grew up with a couple prints of hers…one “You are the Apple of my Eye.” Both of you carrying on in such a grand tradition.
    Meg…I love your ‘weaving’ the traditions in the trail of words with NO spaces.
    How beautiful is that?!?! Infinitely beautiful…

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