stalking the seeker-self

Wholeness doesn’t play games. Wholeness (aka freedom) is at the beginning, not at the end. It isn’t an outcome. It doesn’t occur in time, and the waiting game is, with respect, just another game, an entertainment.

Seeking is the natural movement of Wholeness returning to Itself.
Waiting isn’t a movement. It’s the static strategy of a tenacious seeker-self.

Stalking the seeker-self seems to me to be crucial. It’s an authentic part of the movement of genuine “seeking”. (A while back I posted a poem of David Whyte’s – sitting zen– which expresses this tracking with haunting beauty.)

Whatever psychological or spiritual weapons are used in the hunt, the basic process boils down to a bottom line where one simply stops “… in mutual and respectful quiet”.

One stops stalling. Stops waiting. Stops story-telling.

Stops, without a “so that …”, or an “in order to …

Stopping is lethal to seeker-selves of all faiths and denominations. It’s also probably the most compassionate, loving thing one can do for oneself. (And the world.)

– miriam louisa
 

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3 thoughts on “stalking the seeker-self

  1. Oooo – thank you, I think (?) 🙂 I feel the need to clarify here based on your response.

    When I talk of “waiting for the return” in my previous comment it is in response to your statement (in your previous blog) that “there *will be* a eureka, in its own good time, according to its own pattern. It *will be* a eureka moment… And *when that comes* to pass… etc.” All references to a future moment, a time of anticipation, dare I say “waiting” for this moment to occur – without the need for seeking after it from a sense of self. I believe you are referring to the moment when on realizes one doesn’t need to seek anymore, because one becomes *aware* that IT is already here – that one *is* That.

    So in my response that “I” still await the return,” it was not meant to say that “i” wait for this as a person standing at a corner waiting for a bus to arrive, or waiting for Santa Claus to arrive bringing gifts and goodies. My meaning was of the “simple stopping” of the efforting and striving after something “out there.” This “waiting” that I refer to is more of a resting space, like the pause once the seeking of the “i” energy has ceased, the “remains silent and it speaks” waiting space that you quoted from Lao Tzu; the resting *in* awareness space with no expectation, no anticipation, no *needing* for anything to happen – just the “waiting”/stillness of the Quiet *seeing* that sees, the “simply stopping in mutual respect and quiet” that you speak of. For me it *feels* like a “waiting”/resting in stillness as the Mystery unfolds itself – a restful, dynamic stillness of Life being lived – which by the way is all “story.” It’s all a story of Life unfolding itself here, whether it’s a story of a woman awakening and seeing with a different eye, or a “mystic” telling stories of Life living Itself in the everydayness of living. It’s all The Mystery unfolding Itself in whatever way it does – simply Being. It appears that we are all the “story” of That, the Dreamer of Existence – the Storyteller. 🙂

    From the Heart – christine

    • Christine, I am so delighted that you took the time to write such a thoughtful and heartfelt comment – thank you!

      Isn’t our language a trick? It seems to be infinitely creative, or perhaps it’s more accurate to say that these brains are … simply awesome.

      The minute we talk about waiting, we do seem to evoke a sense of anticipation, don’t you think? I prefer the word ‘resting’. Or perhaps ‘suspension’. To rest, suspend, let-go: somehow these gestures imply that one is more – present. And staying present. Empty. Wantless.

      I sense that you know, and profoundly, what I mean when I go on about this ‘eureka’ only ‘presenting’ (ha!) when uninvited and unexpected – and I join you in the “restful, dynamic stillness”, with so much love.

      Louisa

  2. Thank you too Louisa for your wonderful blog and lovely comments! I enjoy reading you.

    I agree that languaging is so “sticky” let’s say. It can’t quite express the fluidity of what we know inside… As you say the words “resting” and “suspension” do seem more accurate. “Suspension” in particular has been my felt experience a lot of the times, which gets translated down to “waiting”, but which is so much more than that… As you know, obviously!

    In suspension 🙂 with love! Christine

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